Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
