I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
