Who did Billy Mays play for?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
