considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My pussy is not your playground.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
