How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
