1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
