Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize