I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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