bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
