I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
