just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
