Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
