omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
