Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
