Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
love makes seman taste better
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
