i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
