You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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