I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
