i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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