i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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