Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
