did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
