it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
