I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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