i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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