Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize