I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize