No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
