So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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