I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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