Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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