Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he shaved USA in his pubs
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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