Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
