We're like a lot better than the average bears
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize