Sry I called you an 8
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
