i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
