We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
worst night to have a conscience
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Randomize