It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
