I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
