halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It was confusing and full of hummus
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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