Your face is a jimmy john
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize