yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
