I heard we made out
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Pants are for mortals
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
