We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
