you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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