My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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