Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
