I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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