he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
