Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize