my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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