I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
