Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
