I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
