He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
