it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
