I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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