Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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