His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
